So what's the deal with DNI's?
Using a DNI can make people think that being overly negative makes it your whole personality. Plus, many people do abuse them.We made this card to promote the "Positive Connotation Trick", which will transform your negative DNI into something completely positive, and everyone can do that!
Share to anyone who uses DNI's!
We are open-minded volunteers and we welcome any feedback: Just email us!
Some would want to use a DNI as a list to filter out groups of people they don't want any interaction with. They put it either on their biography, below their post, and/or pretty much anywhere they believe is possible.
As a plurality, we regularly see all kinds of DNI's, from the most common to the wildest.Spoiler Warning - General Society Issues
Here's an example of a DNI that we'd see from someone with common sense: "DNI if minor,
Don't get us wrong - You can have boundaries. You can choose who you friend, block or interact with. There are no issues here.The two main issues of DNI's:
- DNI's have a negative connotation (they sound bad to you and others).
- They happen to be used in an abusive way. And some literally use them to discriminate others, which kills credibility for the purpose of DNI's.To better understand, take them as what they are:
DNI = Blacklisting a group of individuals.
This is where the negative image from you comes from. Especially if your whole content is about your DNI.People with bad intents will not care about these and may even bypass it purposefully because they are oppressed, and this can lead to drama.At the very least, the connotation is bad. But we also don't think anyone would like to be in random blacklists, and we believe you also don't.An interesting question for us to ask you would be: What do you feel when reading this specific page? Doesn't it have a clear negative vibe? Don't worry, because the next one aims for the opposite vibe.Even if DNI's happen to be full of common sense, the wording and connotation do not sound right... until you go the other way around. Additional contexts (that we could've skipped):People using DNI's are not always aware about what they say. If respect is reciprocal, then DNI's must be as well. Interacting with someone who's blacklisted means it's their own responsibility. Meanwhile, this isn't the case when you suggest groups of people to interact with you.There's always more DNI that you may be tempted to add later, and this'd go in an endless loop, slowly replacing your bio.Imagine finding out you are part of a blacklist, just because you are traumatized from something, or for any other reason you could come up with. Even if you never hurt anyone and are full of common sense. This may simply be oppression from the bad folks, but this is more of an actual concern for others.Ultimately, it's all up to you. Do you want to be actually interesting and value your friends; or continue to exclude those who didn't sign up for a blacklist?
The goal of this method we created is to transform your DNI into something positive. It will sound nice to everyone (including you) and have a clear and concise way to tell who you want to interact with.Here's the method:
Instead of a blacklist, you're going to do a suggestions list. In a way that is not forced, and where others not part of it can just disregard.1. Move your DNI to a draft. It can be on a piece of paper or on a notes taking app. Any kind of drafts.2. Replace "Do Not Interact" by "Looking for" (or something similar if you have a better idea for yourself).3. Start inverting everything else.
For example, if you only want 18+ people to interact with you, "DNI minors" would become "Looking for adults".
"DNI endogenic systems" may become "Looking for traumagenic systems (who share the same troubles with us)".If you used "Basic DNI", "etc..." or anything where a clear opposite can't be found; Try one of these:
- "Have common sense."
- "Be civil."
- "Be mature." / "Be responsible."
- "Have manners."
- "Be easy to me.", or "Be easy to us." (for plurals)
- "Respect must be reciprocal."
- Come up with your own!See the result!
You transformed your good DNI into something that sounds way better! Now you can start sharing your "Looking for" on social media and updating your bios!
"What if we don't use DNI's as a so-called blacklist?"
That's what you personally think, but not everyone interprets / understands this. All point of views are different, and even someone who's not in your DNI can feel like something is wrong with it."But I'm / we're traumatized!"
We acknowledge that and can understand if you have had hard experiences in the past. But just because you are traumatized does not allow you to traumatize others. You can limit your interactions with those who share similar experiences with you, but you may not disrespect those who are not part of your suggestions list (or blacklist, if you still use it)."You talked about negative connotation. Can I then just use a tone tag like /pos or /neu?"
Most likely not. Because this would simply kill your credibility. Using a connotation tag that contradicts your overly negative connotative text just doesn't make sense. Not everyone likes tone tags, and this doesn't remove the other issues."Thank you for the trick!"
We're really glad to help! This card aims for as much positivity, common sense and inclusivity as possible, hence why we're transforming DNI's. We always aim for the better!"What exactly was modified here?"
If you ever come back to this site and/or are actively sharing it, here are the latest changes:
- Cleaned up some duplicate information between the what and why pages.
- We made it clearer about what is taken as "discrimination" from DNI's and what isn't. There was a clear misunderstanding in what we were trying to say, and this has generated drama, in which we apologize for. And as this is still a topic that we aren't supposed to handle, we removed as many mentions of it as possible.We continue to listen to feedback and improve this site to make it as helpful (and not the opposite way!) as possible.
These are mostly secondary questions here. The primary ones have been already covered in other pages.
More questions may be added in the future if we notice more things to be brought up here.
If your question isn't in this site, you can always email us!
DNI is short for Do Not Interact. They are blacklists, used by several people to filter out people they don't want interaction with, in many ways. But they happen to be used in abusive ways, and they overall have a negative connotation.This card suggests an alternative way of telling your interaction boundaries: Instead of a "DNI", you'd use "Looking for", and instead of blacklisting, you suggest the kinds of people who you want interaction with.As an example, "DNI minors + Basic DNI" could become "Looking for adults with common sense", or shorter: "Looking for mature adults" / "Looking for responsible adults".That way, your desires can only sound positive to you and everyone else, and that cannot be used to discriminate. We call this method the Positive Connotation Trick.On an unrelated note, if you opened this page because you have a short attention span (due to mindless scrolling), we believe it's time to consider being mindful and watch your scroll time!